Anonymous comments

Who was that............???????/
It's scary y'know.

So I am leaving on the 28th

And the first week in Canada will be pretty busy with all those hippie we-all-love-each-other-and-we-all-care-about-you orientations...
annoying.

coincedences

the seconds are ticking the same asn the wireless connections. tick tick tick. it just ticks the same. talk about coincidences. everything in life is happening in life according to some weird coincidences. the seconds are going faster and faster, the seconds are going faster and faster. stolichnaya. movies. computer.. seconds. movies. otto. lovers of the arctic circle. coincidences.

Can someone please...

...put a healing hand on my soul? I don't know why, I just feel restless. I am feeling funny, I am feeling weird. I, I don't know how to face everything anymore. I don't know how to deal with people, I don't know how not to deal with people. I don't know how to deal with myself. I don't know how to feel happy. I am addicted to grief maybe. Or loneliness. I don't know. Maybe I am not. Maybe I hate it but I cannot run away from it so I am just trying to convince myself that I actually like it. I just want the missing care from my parents when I was a kid. Not really missing care, but just the care I wanted and did not get. I thought I would get it from people. I don't know. I want something to comfort me.

Alcohol.


And a lot of it.

Movies

Yesterday:
Trainspotting
Fight Club
Trainspotting (again, i think.)
Half of Lost in Traslation


So far today:
Fight Club
Trainspotting
Lovers of the Arctic Circle
Lost in Translation

Later today:
I'm not scared
City of God
Mystery Train
Trainspotting (yes, again.)

I should watch the Dreamers again also. I don't know. Somehow I am obsessed with repeating movies all the time. I don't know what's going on with me. I love watching sad or weird movies. I love to OD with grief.

Time flies

The first years are back in good o'Flekke already, and I am leaving in less than a week's time. It's really weird. Remember when we were young, we always hoped to grow up as soon as possible? I certainly remember those stupid yet innocent days. So nearly 19 years of my life has passed already and... I don't really feel anything except, I don't have the feeling that I have actually been alive for nearly 19 long years. I honestly don't remember half of the things I've been through in my life- not in detail at least. Is it like that for everyone? Guys, do you remember your childhood clearly? I don't. Might be good in a sense that I am leaving 'home' to study for another 4 years.

I was really struggling to write something these days. But really nothing happens and I don't even bother to find anything to do. Have been talking to some of my co-years. Everyone has started a new life and it seems like I am still living in the past. My co-years are starting universities and they might barely have time to talk to the people they met in Flekke- the time difference you know. My 1st years are already back to Flekke as 2nd years, busy planning the introduction week for the newcomers and soon the kids will be busy studying, hanging out with each other, treasuring the last year in Flekke. Anyway. I am losing my point here- I just woke up.

Wait... some old dreams (as in those one has in sleep) popped up in my mind suddenly... nothing interesting though. Same old dreams.

I don't think I am doing too good over here. But let's just hope it'll get better.

Who was that?

Yeah... that person who left the comment without a name. It'd be nice if I can know who you are. You know, it's kinda freaky when you see such weird comments...

So I have been reading jokes threads...

...and...

Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"

After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God is both male and female."

This confuses Little Johnny, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"

"Well, God is both black and white."

This further confuses him so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"

At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers nonetheless, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."

At this Little Johnny’s face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God Michael Jackson?"

Brain Drain.

As title. I am pretty empty- not in a lonely sense. I just can't think of anything to write.

Davidoff time.

Have you ever...

... had the weird feeling of something grabbing or pulling your heart from the inside? I probably mean the feeling of being nervous. No, not nervous. The little bit of adrenaline rush from time to time, like before a performance, before a fencing match. I actually like it, if it doesn't come so often and provided I can smoke and drink whenever I feel like.

It has been weird. I am going to Canada in less than 2 weeks. I have so many little adrenaline rushes recently yet I can't enjoy it with a nice Davidoff. Annoying. This is probably the first time in years that I really feel pressure about studying. I know I cannot screw it up too much in university since I need a scholarship and after all I am planning to major in theatre so I guess I should pay attention to my future classes. If I screw up university that basically means I screw up my future. I have to be good to find a job. I have to find a job to stay in Canada. I have to...

Argh.

Whoever hands me a package of original Davidoff cigarettes will be highly appreciated.

I can just foresee so many challenges coming up in my life in the next 4 or 5 years. Major screw-it-up-and-you-will-rot-forever challenges I am talking about, I guess. I have to try everything I can to stay in touch with Salome, I gotta do well in school to go on getting scholarships, I have to learn well in my theatre courses since it is literally a preparation for my future, I have to take part in produdctions to gain experience, I have to get connections to secure a job after graduating, I gotta look for an apartment by the end of the spring term, I have to plan what to do in my summer- balancing between travelling and working...

I have never met such problems, not even the biggest exams I did back in Hong Kong. It's scary and exicting at the same time. I would really like to know how it is to live independently, completely. Then again I am actually afraid of the process of fitting into the adult society.

Screw it, a cig I said.

Sid and Nancy

Have I told you guys that I have finally watched 'Sid and Nancy'?
It is good.

By the way I find the real Sid a nice sweet young man- it's not like I know him, but yeah...

Time to write something.

I haven't really been writing anything meanful in my blog for a rather long period of time actually. Then again not a lot of people come and read it on a regular basis so I don't really have to worry about updating regularly. Honestly nothing have been happening so my thoughts are rather like a lake without ripples. I don't know. I am getting used to this kind of self-inflicted boredom actually. Okay let's cut all the bull. I haven't been thinking of anything really. I am going to meet my zero, first and second years on wednesday for a dinner. Great that there finally is an excuse for me to go out and do something and probably scare the dear zero years a bit- I still remember how surprised Cheryl and Thomas were when they first saw me. At least I think they were.

I have though about some stupid things, like, if Osama didn't assign all those terrorists, would I still have got 36 pts in my IB? Are these things co-related? If I didn't ate that piece of meat 10 minutes ago, would Keanu Reeves die earlier than he's supposed to? Hmm. 'Supposed to'? How do we know when we are supposed to do what, for example, to die? Well I remember some researches said smoking one cigarette reduces a certain amount of time of your life. Hey would that be possible that some smokers, while still puffing away, are supposed to be dead already? It'd be rather funny. Anyway.

I was about to get a can of Pepsi from the fridge. But then when I opened the fridge door I saw two or three cans of Cream Soda standing in the middle, while the Pepsi was hiding in the corner. I just suddenly thought if the Pepsi was delibrately hiding from being noticed. Poor Pepsi. I wonder what would it be like if I am a can of Pepsi. When will I expire? How does it feel to be drunken? Does it hurt when people pop me open? Pop. OUCH! Anyway. Somehow the song playing now doubles the beat of the second-arm of the clock. Wait. Is the second arm the arm showing the minutes or the arm showing the seconds? I of course meant the one showing the seconds. Just found it funny and wanted to pretend to be witty for a sec. Anyway. I wanna play something also. I am still wondering if I should get the Korg X5D. When have I become so indecisive? It's weird to realize how scary growing up is. It IS creepy. Wheneven I think about issues that only bug grown-ups, my spine feels like a little rattlesnake. I hate shivering because of creepy ideas.

I think I am going through a weird perioud of life.

Even my dreams say so.

Then again I have been running in most of my dreams since I first dreamt.

Sing.

Create.

Just discovered you can also type the word 'create' only using your left hand. You know what I mean.

International Left Handers' Day

Today, the thirteenth of August, is the International Left Handers' Day. I, on behalf of all the left handers on this lovely and not-so-lovely planet, officially declare that left handers rock.

Twinkle, twinkle little star

Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wanna shoot you down

You're a light bulb hanged up high
Not a diamond in the sky

Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wanna shoot you down

Sounds funny :)

I just love this song.

Getting more and more into Pink Floyd and I love this song. No hidden meanings or anything. Just because this song is so beautiful.

Wish you were here - Pink Floyd

So
So you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell
Blue skies from pain
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail
A smile from a veil
Do you think you can tell
And did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts
Hot ashes for trees
Hot air for a cool breeze
Cold comfort for change
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage
How I wish
How I wish you were here
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground
What have you found
The same old fears
Wish you were here

Shuffling songs.

Weird. No matter for how long I keep my iPod playing on shuffle albums, some albums will just pop up by themselves. Wish you were here by Pink Floyd is a damn good example. Didn't say it's a bad one. I do love that album.

And I found out I have turned from a complete metalhead to a 'I-listen-to-whatever-interests-me' person. Then again strictly no pop, latin, reggae and anything close to hip-hop.

Have I been changing?

I am a vodka bottle...

...and the vodka is missing. It's pretty cloudy today. The sunlight is piercing through the layer of clouds and it appears to be extra bright since the clouds, as a filter made the light white, instead of yellowish. It is funny. Have you every tried to look into the sky when it's covered evenly with a thin layer of clouds, like how the sugar layer covers the chocolate core in m&m's? The light is rather irritating to look at actually and I always know it in a sense does hurt my eyes. Then again there's somehow a nice and caring feeling hidden behind all the acute feelings. I don't know. I am bullshitting again. I know, I know. I should just screw the computer and go out and do something, right? It's stupid to wait in front of the computer for the whole day, not really for anything- and I don't care.

I think I am going through some kind of weird mood recently. I feel like everything I have ever had is slipping away silently- inspiration, energy, those stuff, you know. Even my world starts to fade in my mind. Things which were once crystal clear in my mind have just become blurry and they start losing colors- I even really start to doubt if I would have a future doing theatre. I have seriously start to doubt my ability and talent also. It's just scary whenever I think of such things because I can be so convincing that I can make myself completely believe that I suck, not only about theatre. About other things as well. Yet I haven't been doing anything trying to fix this little disorder. I know it will get better- at least I hope so- but it will never cure. I have had such a feeling before but it has never been so strong that I actually start worrying. It's too intense this time. Soon I can't take this actually.

There were no one except me at home just now. I always longed for not being with my family. Now the time came, although it was just as quick as a flash of light. But then I had a weird feeling. I suddenly thought I am... I don't know. I know that there's something missing and I have never had that feeling before. At least not during last summer. I mean, it's not like I miss anyone in my family- I don't really care about them and they haven't for long anyway so why should I? That feeling is strange. Like the sun disappears, I mean, actually literally disappears, not just covered, during a total eclipse. Something important is missing I know. But I don't know what it is. In my eyes I'm merely a stranger so I wouldn't know. Some kind of monsters must have came during the night and bit a little piece of my heart off. Wait- I don't sleep at night anymore. So what is it? Did I go insane and cut bits and pieces off myself? I meant it when I said I'm merely a stranger to myself. I just don't understand. There's just nothing to be sad or depressed about and I bet I'm just creating everything myself. I don't know. Maybe I enjoy being sad.

I might actually do.

I remember last night when I was smoking a cigarette I had a little impluse to hop out of the window just to see how it is. I know I'll get killed if I do that. If I knew my parents won't make such a big fuss about these things I'd have tried it already. Also I of course have been wanting to slash my wrist and see how it feels to lose quite some blood. Well I mean, it's not like I cant stand the world or something. I just want to try for fun.

I don't know what I am talking about in my blog anymore. It's getting nonsense and boring- then I not a very interesting person so why should I care. Whatever. As I said, writing blogs are just like writing diaries- just a way to talk to myself (since I don't write diaries).

I feel like a vodka bottle on a Sunday morning. Get what I mean?

Keanu Reeves and Wong Chau Sang

I just found out those dudes have the same birthday as I do. Nothing special actually. Just that I am too bored so I started to fine useless and stupid data on the internet. Sorry I can't help it. But when I am utterly bored I really get into a weird mood and I can't blame anyone- it's just me who doesn't find anything else to do except sitting in front of the computer all day long.

Wong Chau Sang is quite a good actor from Hong Kong by the way, for those who are not from this shithole.

I don't know how I should feel.

Finally it rained. Twice at least. Oh dear it is raining again. I am just wondering if I should at all feel happy about the storm. Now the wind's blowing straight into the windows and the rain's falling straight into the apartment. It seems like I can hear Johnny Rotten's voice screaming into my ears- now it's fucking raining and are you happy with it you bastard? Well in a sense I am- at least it does rain so the act of cancelling the trip to Macau is reather reasonable and of vision. And it's not like I hate storms. Then again I was quite looking forward to this trip since I don't need to get online that often anyway. I'd rather actually do something and get inspirations for my blog. Then again I really like waiting somehow- the feeling of expecting something, the exictment, remember? So the rain is actually something I have been wishing for, maybe. In a sense I love it because it gives me one more excuse not to go out and lock myself up in the little room I own, or do I own it? I don't know what I'm trying to point out here.

Humid summers are the worst of the worst. You just feel like a steamed fish lying half dead on the plate, struggling in the heat and moist, feeling there's a thin sticky layer of crap all over you. You can barely breathe freely since the air is just first of all so bad and now so warm and humid. It sucks. It's boring. It's fucking boring doing nothing in an apartment in summer. I wouldn't mind doing nothing on the street in winter, I really wouldn't. Can you imagine- just staying at home and sitting on your chair, doing nothing in a room just as big as your testicles can make you sweat like you are having wild sex. Well of course only the sweating part I'm feeling now.

Today I woke up at around 2pm maybe. I was reading till, probably 5am again since I know it'd be of no use for me to wake up early anyway. Smoked a cigarette with an extremely empty stomach. I was smoking really fast. It was a roll-up and I was just puffing the whole thing non stop. Then the weird feeling when you smoke too much comes- I have not come across such a funny feeling for a few months already. It was in a sense nice, when I managed to overcome the nausea and all the funny feelings that came after the roll-up. I feel like shit whenever I smoke in my room actually. Not because of the nicotine, it's just something in my head. I don't understand why can't I smoke freely and take my time while smoking? I am getting 19 for fuck's sake. Well of course I cannot drink whenever I want to- then again the legal age is 18 which was nearly a year ago for me. And I would not be able to go out and drink anyway- it IS expensive to dring in pubs in Hong Kong, considering the rather reasonable price for alcohol in supermarketes. Also the night buses are shit expensive that you can simply get a few beers in the supermarket with the fare. Then again even if I go out late in the weekends, I would have nothing to do except drinking- all sorts of drugs are expensive and hard to get in here, even things as simple as weed. I am jealous of the Danes. I am bloody jealous of the Canadians. I am fucking jealous of the Dutchs. I feel like I am living in a jail.

Then again, I just think all I need is a few good shots of vodka alone.

Can't blame anyone, though.

No fun.

It's not even raining today.

Yep and it sucks.
Everything just sucks.
Give me vodka.

It's not like I don't want to...

... this time. We have just decided not to go to Macau tomorrow since it is raining like shit these days. Next week probably. Sometimes I wonder if there's anyone mightyful up there, preventing me to do so many things even if I have finally made up my mind. Or some things is like, I have made up my mind finally but it's already too late. For example big things like fencing to small things like going to Macau. It's quite annoying I guess. I have finally made up my mind not to sit and wait in front of my computer for the whole day and suddenly something so stupid like this making me not able to go. I don't get it. There are always nonsense or stupid things happening, making me giving up things- yes, some of those happenings are merely my own thoughts or ideas, but still. I just don't understand why would that happen. Then again it is not like I will never have the chance to go to Macau, I think we are going next week anyway. Just that it is such a big spoiler for me. I don't know. But then there are no chances to turn back for some things, like fencing. Tja, I guess I don't want to whine about the same old stories all the time.

After all if I went on playing fencing, I wouldn't have gone to Norway and got to know Emmi and Salome and found myself I guess. So, guess it's time for me to get a bit optimistic. I know it's hard and I probably will never succeed but anyway.

By the way I finally got 'the Filth and the Fury', the Sex Pistols documentary. Time to have a look at it.

It's been long.

I haven't really written anything special for two days. Let's see what can I talk about today. Now my iPod is playing Björk's album, Post. It is just one of my favourite albums. Anyway I like Björk's music. Weird, eh? I know I do look or seem to be a metal head or at least more into some harder stuff. Actually I just listen to nearly everything I find interesting. Björk just does not belong to any specific genre of music. She is for sure nothing close to metal, rock or punk. She's just herself. Makes whatever she likes, make whatever she thinks sounds nice. To me, every single piece of her songs is like a little short piece of story- when I listen to her music, images or scenes will just pop up in my mind and there I go. And somehow her music just releases my emotion- when Björk's music goes into my ears and my head, it often is even stronger than any of the other hard music I listen to.

I wonder when will I have such a day, that I can just put on my own theatre pieces without really caring about the others' tastes and the market. It will probably never, but I will be dreaming of such a day endlessly.

I think I am going through some kind of brain drain period. I have just been... staying way too much in my room without properly smoking and drinking. Even I haven't really chatted with anyone on the internet (except a small conversation each with Airiin and Ace) today I still have no ideas for any topics for either writing or chatting. Maybe I have been reading that stupid Chinese novel too much. Or maybe I just have been playing too much computer games. Or maybe I need to listen to some music.

Wait.

I have said I just need to drink and smoke freely a minute ago. Screw it.

Then again brain drain IS scary. I mean, it's completely fine for me to have a brain drain once in a while during summer, or whenever I don't have to work on anything theatre related. I don't remember if I have talked about that in some of my entries before. If I have then it proves my memory is bad and you who are reading this can just stop, or skip this paragraph, if there will be another after this. I wouldn't know, I never plan my entries. So, back to expressing my fear towards running out of ideas and inspirations. I don't even know how it happens. On some days I just have numerous weird ideas to write down or to talk about, then again on a day like this, when I don't have anything to do (at all), I don't even have a spark of inspiration for a bloody blog entry. It is scary.

I really think I have talked about this before, so let's talk about something else.

'Derek?'
'I think someone is talking to me, it's impossible.'
'Why is it impossible?'
'Because I think it is not possible!'
'Would you like to have a conversation with me then?'
'Why would I?'
'Because you look bored.'
'Well even if I am, it doesn't make me want to talk to you.'
'Derek.'
'How'd you know my name?'
'How'd I know?'
'Then what's your bloody name?'
'Derek.'
'Actually where are you? I don't really think I can see you.'
'Here, have a cigarette.'
'Sure.'
'So you like to smoke?'
'What the heck?'
'I don't have a lighter, sorry.'
'How can I smoke if you don't have a lighter?'
'I thought you have one with you. I saw you smoking.'
'That wasn't me. That was... what was his name... Derek, yes. Derek.'
'Don't you know something called matches?'
'Well duh, don't you know where your anus is?'
'Then don't you know matches can make fire also?'
'Well yes, but you didn't say you do have matches.'
'Did I say I don't have matches?'
'No. But do you?'
'Why do I have to tell you. Tell me something first.'
'Fine... I am bored.'
'I know. This does not count. I know it already.'
'What do you want to know then?'
'I don't know. It's your call, Derek.'
'Light the cigarette.'
'I cannot.'
'Light the bloody cigarette!'
'I really cannot.'
'Don't you have matches?'
'I didn't say I have. I just asked you to tell me something first'
'Then tell me if you have matches.'
'No.'
'Then why on Earth can't you light the cigarette?'
'Because I don't know how to.'
'Give me the matches then. I DO know how to.'
'I cannot.'
'Now bloody why?'
'Because I am just your imagination.'
'What?'
'Exactly.'
'But... How is it possible then? I mean, the cig... Wait, where is it? What the... Hey? Hello?

Fuck.

Ever had the feeling that you've been cheated.. by yourself?'

Ha-ha-ha. I actually laughed when I read through that again. What a nonsense play. It is kind of funny though. Sounds like a little short punk song. Gotta make a good name for it. I actually managed to write a little piece of theatre within 15 minutes' time. Well then again I just suddenly thought of Johnny Rotten's famous line in the Sex Pistols' last performance, 'Ever had the feeling that you've been cheated?' And it seems like it's directed to his manager quite obviously, for ripping the band off. I just find this sentence really legendary and somehow cool, especially when it's spoken by Rotten. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I just find the Sex Pistols interesting and legendary, though I am not really too much into Punk- music and outlook. Everyone can be a punk in their head. I don't really know the definition of being a punk- but I know what is NOT a punk though. Those kids who are just wearing torn clothes, scottish skirts, tight pants, smoking weed, wearing boots and having weird haircuts and think they look cool aren't really punks i guess. I mean, I wouldn't know what is in most of their minds, but I am pretty sure it can just be as simple as 'it's cool, but I actually don't even like it' or 'it's in, everyone is like that so I am gonna be like that also.'.

Whatever.

Be brave, think different, do different but don't pretend to be different.

By the way folks, don't get me wrong. I don't have any feeling of being cheated at all. No worries, dear. I just suddenly decided to write a monologue ending somehow with this famous sentence.

Really. I was just bored. Guess it's time for some Einstürzende Neubauten or Cabaret Voltaire. So long, folks. ;-)

So I have decided to go to Macau...

... on Wednesday. I don't really know why I have decided to go. Maybe it's because I promised them to, or maybe I am just way too bored and tired of my own room. I don't even know what's so interesting about that place, except it's kind of famous for casinos. I think I have talked about Macau before. But then I just want to write an entry about it, and hope I can find a reason for myself to go there during writing. Or I am just actually bored. It's 2am now and I don't really feel like sleeping although I actually slept at around 8am yesterday morning.

So it seems like I have gone through enlightenment- I actually decide to go out instead of sit and wait in my room all day. Maybe I should get a life also. It's not like going out once means getting a life out of my room. But at least I have something to do, something else. Sounds like I am already sick of waiting, eh? Not really actually. I think waiting is still nice- if there were no expectations the outcome would not be as beautiful as it could. Waiting for things, for people is still one of my hobbies. One of my hobbies that I actually dislike at the same time. Weird.

I think the lack of sleep and the massively long entry last time has drain my brain completely. Scary. What if my brain is drained when I am doing theater? What if it happens during the course? What if it happens during the audition? Then I won't even get to study theatre- and what can I do then? Be a little shopkeeper in a grocery store? Be a waiter in a random Chinese restaurant? Shit. I don't wanna think about that. Or, maybe when I am done with studying, I find out I don't have any talent and will never get to do theatre for a living... Or maybe...

Derek, go to sleep.

Random thoughts at 4am

Whenener I poke my head out of the window at late night, smoking cigarettes, I like to look around- in the sky, on the seldom quiet road, around into the buildings nearby. Sometimes planes pass by. I sometimes wonder where the planes are going and why are they flying at such a weird time. Are they going to heven? Are they going to hell? 'So, so you think you could tell, heaven from hell...' Whenever I think about that, Pink Floyd's 'Wish you were here' pops up in my mind. 'How I wish, how I wish you were here...' There must be people waiting in the destination airport some hours later, hoping the passengers land safely. Then the people who are waiting can see their beloved ones again, safe and happy. But what if the plane crashes? Where will the passengers go? Do they join the other crashed planes in the sky, flying towards nowhere, forever and ever? Or do they just fall and their bodies crash against the mountains, the ocean and the buildings, or maybe some land on the roads. What if the plane crashes right into my window? Will the building collapse? Can I escape from that? And why do they need those annoying blinking lights on the planes while they are flying alone in the sky anyway? Sometimes I really want to scream at the planes, 'don't you know that reminds me of stars? Don't you know I miss mother moon's cradle? Don't you know I miss my friends in the sky? Do you actually hear me?' Do they care? Anyway it's none of their business I guess.

People wait for planes to land, so they will see their beloved ones again. I have said that I have no good feelings about waiting for people. But when I think of it, I might just be addicted to waiting. The feeling of expecting someone to come is just undescribeable. The exictment, the feeling of longing for someone to appear in your sight- even though sometimes you never know when that person is coming- if that person is coming at all during the time you are waiting. And the feeling of 'finally you are here' is just irresistable. It's like, sex or alcohol. Once you tried and know how good it feels, you can never get rid of it. It is addictive. Maybe that's why even though I know people might not come online whenever I feel like talking to them, I still prefer staying in my 2.5m×3m bedroom, sitting in front of the computer and wait. Then again the frustration, the disappointment of the thing which I am waiting for never comes sometimes takes over me. Also the thing or person I have been waiting for from sunrise to sunset appears for only a short time and suddenly has to disappear from my sight again. That is simply intolerable for me. It's like when I was young, trying to catch fireflies because they are so attractive and beautiful. Sometimes I could never see one in the whole damn night. Sometimes I got one luckily, then I carefully open my palms to have a good look at it. Then in that flash of light it flew away. Or even worse, I killed it with my own palms because I was too exicted and nervous. It is merely my own fault- no bloody one promised me to appear when I am waiting and even if that persons appears, no one promised me to stay as long as I wish, so why should I whine or feel sad? I don't know. Maybe because I am a virgo.

I have always been saying I have such a non-virgo personality. Just now when I was thinking about the planes, I also realized maybe I am such a typical virgo, such a perfectionist, such a demanding person, but just on the things I care. Every single theatre piece I have done, I can find numerous flaws afterwards, no matter how good the outcome is. I also tend to be caught up in really tiny details in the plays I write- that's why my under-progress play 'ài' seems to be endlessly under progress. I am also demanding in terms of people. Once I care about a person, I tend to be curious about every single thing s/he did, has done, does, is doing and will do. When I have decided to care about a person, I really put effort in it. So I also realize it can get really tight and suffocating under my 'care'. When I want to talk to a person, I even would have the idea of talk to that person for the whole day non-stop. But then again I know how annoying it is when one has to report every single thing s/he does to another person or just talk to the same person for the whole day. I also know that basically one never has to reveal anything about him or her to another person under whatever circumstances in a sense. So little or big contradictions and dilemmas always appear in my little head- on one hand I would really like what I want to happen come true, but then I cannot take away the others' right to do whatever they want, for example going out (even just walking around), or talk to some else. This annoying bit of thoughts always lead to bad outcomes due to my emotional and explosive personality. Then again I don't know where I am getting to, because it sounds more and more like a confession in a little chamber to a father, or priest, or whatever- I know no details about religions. So once again I will just wind up my entry in a hurry without a proper ending.

Hope my strange and maybe a bit childish thoughts can be understood- I know it is difficult. But whoever bothers to try would be really, really appreciated and I know there is one person who is always trying her best to understand me and get closer to my mind. That is the most wonderful thing on Earth I must say. It is different from that kind of parental invasion into my mind. It is out of pure care and sweet, innocent curiousity. And somehow I think that person is even closer to my mind than I myself am. Merci Salome, merci. Dank für Ihren Liebe, dank für Ihre Obacht. (I know you have been reading my blogs but I don't know if the gammar is correct there. I merely got it from some translators and work the things out with my little knowledge in German.)

I don't like blogs.

I just use my blog to whine to myself. I sometimes don't even mean things seriously. I am good at whining nonsensely just like a little kid, so I hope my readers won't get offended or hurt... I really hope so. Sorry if I have. I didn't mean to.

So my dear, remember I am like a little kid. A minute after whining I would already have forgotten what I was whining about. So don't worry.

So I have nowhere to go.

So everyone found something they think is interesting to do but me. I don't understand why- maybe they have people to hang out with, maybe they find walking pointlessly under the summer sun fun. I wouldn't know. If I would be living alone I would for sure have a lot of things to do- I can drink in my own apartment, smoke whenever I want. And one more thing- I don't have to worry coming home late, and thereby I can go out to pubs and walk around late at night alone. I like walking around myself, but just not under the summer sun.

Honestly I don't really feel I am that close to the people in Hong Kong anymore, if I ever had been. Maybe it's just the difference between our mentalities, or maybe I have become am outsider within two years' time- which is very possible when I don't even bother that much trying to catch up with everyone's lives even a little bit. After all they haven't tried to do that with me. So why the hell should I care. I wouldn't mind going out with them from time to time, though, but then again it just feels weird. I just can sense that I don't belong to this place, that I will never have anything interesting to do here, that I can never have fun here.

I really should have got a job. One of the reasons why I don't want to go out and do something, for example get a job is that if I am out in the afternoon or at night I will miss the chance to talk with some of the people who are far, far away from me. Well you might say I can stay up late and chat with them- then I cannot get a job. Getting a job means getting up early and go to work. Not good. There will be no fucking way for me to stay up late if I had to work. And duh, the same applies to going out in the morning honestly, I can hardly wake up before 12, unless... someone calls me for a football match or something like that. But then again I feel a little big stupid waiting volunterily in front of the computer. Yes I do want to talk to some people a lot, but it might not be the case on the other side. People go out with their friends and families at home and enjoy the warm, mild summer sun there. I used to refuse to accept the fact that actually the others have something to do (unlike me) and I am not that interesting to talk to. But after all these days I think I'll have to admit that going out with people is a bit more intersting than chatting with me. Even I am more interesting, no one can stand chatting me for the whole day anyway- breaks are needed anyhow or else I will appear to be even more boring than I already am.

Anyway. I can only blame myself for creating such boredom I guess. But really. What's so much fun in the city? Why do people fancy going to the city, even for doing nothing, just walking around? I have been to most of the shopping places, I don't like to swim, I don't like to walk around on crowded streets looking for nothing but nothing and feeling even more bored than staying alone in the room but still insist to walk around even more. My biggest entertainment when the few ones who actually chats with me are not online these days are music, writing blogs and scripts. Sounds fun.

I think I am just bored and jealous of people who don't have to suffer in (sub-)tropical climate.

Why can't I be born in Europe? Then I can go out in the city like everyone else in summer without getting soaking wet in my own sweat, I can go to music festivals, I can go to theatre festivals, I can visit the people I like... Even the idea of just walking around in a bit of nature somewhere around my house (not a god damn apartment) is a devilish luxurious idea in such a bloody city. I hate cities.

Then again I am just stupid. Shouldn't bother people who actually have a life and do go out instead of chatting with me and show them grumpy faces with waves and waves of grief and jealousy.

I apologize. I will go back to my little hive and try to figure something out in my own head.

'The city goes to bed, and now I can live inside my head. On my own...' - Les Misérables

By the way there will be a Cantonese version of Les Misérables done by a comparatively big theatre group in Hong Kong. Doubt if it would be good though. Well I guess there is no use in thinking about that anyway. Shouldn't waste money on these though I do love theatre. It's not like my family is rich.

'I just don't know what to do with myself...' - the White Stripes

Guess I should give in the idea of buying a keyboard also. It just is stupid to spend 400€ on a piece of toy and I don't know if I will keep playing it anyway.

Screw it. I am such a boring loser. I really tried to do something this summer, though not too many, but it seems like I suck. Can't even find a pair of decent boots and pants. C'mon boy, you are in one of the biggest city on Earth and you say you couldn't find any? Bloody useless twat. I also planned to buy a synth or a keyboard and try to master it within the 3 months of summer holiday I have. And? Surprise, surprise. I still don't have a keyboard with me- I am just unsure of myself. Okay, then just go out a bit more like the others? I think no one wants to chat with you 24/7 even if s/he misses you like I miss Artaud. Remember I am not an interesting figure in the first place. I have also said I have to finish up at least one theatre play since I have too many undone ones in hand. Bingo! I haven't even finished one.

Yeah, blame the heat. It takes away all your inspiration, right?

I guess I just need alcohol. I really think I need a few good bloody shots.

Shit.

I like my profile pic.

ba la la la la di ba di dum
shu ba bum di da la ba bam

I like my new pic.
I like my new pic.

di da la ba la di di dum
ba lap ba la da la mhm

I am sober.
I am just bored.

I want to pee now.

(My first nonsense post in here.)

(Everyone around me is growing up) and I don't know why.

Another good song title honestly. Anyway.

I am unsure of how I would fit into thw society- if I ever have to. The around 50 people who have seen my theatre project knows, probably, what I am talking about. Yes, being a not-so-successful youth I still haven't figure out the answer for my question.

I think am just kind of scared of growing up, scared of changing. Nearly everyone I know from my old school have got a job in summer- even the most unexpected ones. Everyone is turning adult- finishing high school, strive to get a place in universities, get a job, start a family, losing their childhood dreams and die. Okay they haven't really started families yet (oh, about this I think I am a little bit ahead of them- right, Salome?). I have to admit that I don't have a lot of childhood to sentimentally think of, but I do have some wild, fire-red days to look back proudly at. I just don't know what I will get out of changing or growing up. It is weird. I guess you guys will wonder where the adventurous Derek is at the moment. I don't know.

I know it will be weird if I just wind the entry up here and now, but I really cannot think of anything useful or less-meaningless to write at the moment (ha-ha. Typical me.)...

So after all these frustrations and bullshits I suddenly came across a solution: a test on the internet. I saw it from someone's xanga and I was bored. There it is.

You scored as alternative. You're partially respected for being an individual in a conformist world yet others take you as a radical. You have no place in society because you choose not to belong there - you're the luckiest of them all, even if your parents are completely ashamed of you. Just don't take drugs ok?

What Social Status are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

So that means I even if I try I won't be able to fit into the society anyway. So screw it and I'll just stay away from drugs and look for some shrooms and joints in Vancouver (me giggles now).

Festivals in Hong Kong

Folks, remember some time ago (before I started this blog) I was complaining about there rarely are any rock/metal band shows/festivals in Hong Kong?

I wasn't completely wrong but halfly. From someone's blog I figured out there will be a band show kinda thing happening on the 27th August, which will be one day before I wave bye-bye to (not so) dear Hong Kong. Strangely though I haven't really heard about it before. Good that by chance I heard about something like this. Thinking if I should go there and have a look. 1630-2130, not too late & not too early. Funny thing is the mini-fest thing is located on a remote island, but then there are regular boats to there, I just don't really know how long the journey takes. In my memory it takes more than 3 hours, though... or is it just my illusion? Another thing is the bands playing there are all unknown to me, so I really doubt if I should go. But then it's a good chance just to have a drink and see how my luck goes- if the music would be good or not.

Neh. Considering I am leaving the next day, probably quite early in the morning, I might not go actually. Or should I? It might be boring to go alone actually. After all being shit tired on a long distance flight IS a torture. Trust me.

My blogger profile

Just found out I have an account in photobucket. So I can add a profile picture to this blog.

That's it, folks.

(I admit I am just way too bored. TV series in Hong Kong suck.)

The meaning of blogging (massively).

This can just be a song title.

Actually, what is the point of blogging for me? If there are tons of people out there who really care about me and would read my blog daily, fine. But then, okay, until this point maybe 2 or 3 people noticed such a thing exists. Anyway I don't have a massive amount of friends. Blogs can be just a little daily autobio for some people- for those who have a reasonable amount of people reading/caring regularly. I don't. For some people, blogging is of course another form of diary- you know, everything has to be digital and cool these days. And writing blogs seem trendy and popular in some people's eyes. There you go. So instead of writing between thin black lines on pieces of paper in the middle of the night, starting with 'dear diary...' every single time, some write blogs on the internet (duh). It is not weird for those who have been having a habit of writing diaries since who knows when I guess. It's for sure easier to keep and to write when it's on the internet.

So what's the meaning of blogging massively? I think I actually have said it before. Just because I don't really have anyone to share my thoughts sometimes, or it's just another way for me to talk to myself, since I can't really do it at home when I live with 3 other people. It's not like I don't have anyone to talk to, but I guess every person would have sudden impulses to make conversation with someone. When I have such impulses, there are usually no one around, especially when I am in Hong Kong, people are relatively 'normal' (and rather ordinary- nothing bad about it. Just different from what I'm used to in Flekke.) and they won't be too interested in my weird/dull topics. I guess this situation will go on for quite long due to the fact that I will be living all on my own in the room next year- well of course I can talk to someone somewhere, the only thing is if I would have the motivation to do it. Told you I am socially impaired.

I like to whine.

Puss in the Boots

Exactly.
This entry will be about my day looking for a pair of boots.

So little Derek finally decided to go out and do something in the heat of summer. It was genuinely weird. I actually went out, walking around in the crowd and the heat looking for a single pair of boots which might not even exist.

Walking around on the street in Hong Kong is somewhat fun, if it wasn't that bloody hot. As usual I was sweating like hell because of the massive amount of hair I have on my head. My hair for sure can function as a fur hat in winter (and in fact it worked in Norway, at least.). Putting headphones on, listening to random music and walking on the street, looking at how people stare at me wherever I go can be fun. Well also it can be annoying of course- I hate people staring for no valid reasons. And me looking weird is NOT a valid reason. Or well, they might just wanted to have a good look at me and figure out if I am male or female. You know, guys rarely have such long hair here.

So I have been walking around in a few mini shopping malls and shops, looking for a pair of longer boots. Yes. Longer than the cherry-red ones I have. In a shop I saw a pair of purple boots which made my day for a little while. But then they only have size 4. Who on earth could wear such a small shoe? These bloody stupid shops. Then little Derek went on to check out another shop which only sells extravagant boots only, which is a bit discouraging. Well then of course I gave up. Do you think I really enjoy walking around under 33°C of heat? Neh.

I also found out people actually like to talk to me randomly on the street. W-w-wait. I remember there were 3 occasions when some random people talked to me suddenly for different purposes. It happened within the last 3 hours- and dear I can only remember two now. What the hell is wrong with my memory seriously? It's getting annoying. Uh, yea, someone stopped me while I was walking from one shop to another, doing some kind of survey for a magazine. The questions were kind of weird. He asked me what I was using to listen to music- fine, iPod. 'And why?' That was a tough question. I just told him something like, because the memory size is rather big I think. Then that young guy went on asking me if I am planning to buy and audio/video products in the near future. And I was like 'what the hell... neh.' And now, here comes the most random ending question I have ever seen in a survey: which is your favourite movie and why? Then well, I was just listening to the soundtrack of 'the Dreamers' so I just told him it was my fav. And I asked him if I should do a deep analysis on it and explain... and I just started bullshitting basically- what the heck? I like a movie usually just because the feeling it gives is nice... what more can I say?

So there I went, 'Well it's the Italian director Bertolucci's final work and it's about some wild daring youths in the 60's in Paris... blah blah blah...'

And then the cool-looking photographer took some pictures of me. While he's taking pictures there were two weird guys staring and pointing at me weirdly, I think they babbled something but I couldn't hear. Then the interviewer asked if I knew them, and I was like, neh. Then I asked him back and both him and the photographer said no...

On the way back in the train station there was a guy who looked like a Chinese tourist asked me about how to get to Kowloon (I was in Causeway Bay) (Sorry to those who don't live in Hong Kong. Go to google and get a map of Hong Kong. Preferrably the MTR map and you'll know.) so I told him.

Nothing interesting really, but I am just surprised how people like to interrupt the others who are listening to music and walking on their own.

What a day.

Macau, or my room?

Fung suggested to go to Macau (a while ago actually). Well for those who don't really know what Macau is, go to www.google.com. I can only tell you it's pretty famous for casinos... Of course I really would like to get out of my room and get a life. But then it seems to be kind of expensive actually. 30€ round trip by boat. It's not like I gotta spend 1000€ on gambling on top of the boat ticket, and of course I don't have to spend a quid at all in the casino... I mean anyway it might be fun.

I have become a bit autistic since I have left the college... Okay, now definition-nazis don't shit on my head. I just mean I tend to reject social contacts with people. I really don't know why- is Hong Kong really not my place? Is there anything wrong with me? Or is it simply just too hot? Even I myself am a bit surprised by such a behaviour. I just don't understand. Maybe I am not used to living in a single room anymore. Thinking of that I think I cannot really live alone, completely. At least I need an animal or two, or maybe just something to play with- not neccessarily a human being, though. Most of the people I know got back into track of their used-to-be lives before they left for Norway. Some found something new to do, travelling around, visiting the people they have met in dear Flekke.

You might ask why don't I do the same. As the people who know me would know, I always say Hong Kong sucks whenever I talk about it or anything related to it. Well except the summer weather, it's partly because of the people. Some, whom I have been seeing for a few times, are fine- or else I won't really bother to, I guess? Those whom I have been talking to are also fine- that's related to what I was about to say. Yes I have been away for 2 long years and I honestly understand that I will never ever be able to catch up with some of the things going on among them. But that doesn't mean they can't keep in contact with me does it now? I am not complaining since it doesn't really matter for me, off I go and I will have a new life somewhere else soon. And, it's just weird to think that I have actually grown up in Hong Kong, while seeing people around me have nearly completely different life attitudes- at least I haven't seen too many who's my kind. Maybe I'm just another species. Maybe I'm just a wannabe. Maybe.

And yeah, some of you would wonder why don't I go out alone and stuff. If you are thinking about it, you really don't know me. Now think. My hair, 30+°C; 30+°C, my hair. By the way I have been living in Norway for two good long years (it's not like Flekke is in the north but still... Hong Kong has to be hotter than Flekke in any season i think...).

Oh, visiting people? Now here comes my biggest for my hatred towards my Hong Kong-ese identity- I AM SO BLOODY FAR AWAY FROM NEARLY EVERYONE ELSE, WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO? A ticket from Hong Kong to Europe wouldn't really be cheap would it? This is a great pity that money just matters so damn much in the adult world. Why can't there be some cheap inventions, uh, like some high-speed transport bands or just REALLY cheap flights? Being an ignorant ragey (?) youth, of course I would not know what's the running cost of a inter-continental flight. But the prices are really ridiculous though... 1000€ for a Hong Kong-Oslo round trip? Yeah right. If I had time I would just have driven there instead. Sigh. Why does Hong Kong have to be so far away from everything else?

Why the heck am I still talking about the past?

I don't understand. What am I doing? What am I thinking about?

Suddenly someone whispered on the right at my back, softly into my ear, 'I think you miss the college, duh!'

Oh.

'mittwoch'

Mittwoch. Mitte der... Woche? Am I right?

German is fun until now.

Coin-operated Boy

Emmi if by any chance you are reading this before I tell you about the news. Yes. Finally I found out how to play Coin-operated Boy, nearly completely... Well yes I could have figured out quite a few months ago but just, y'know, the IB monster and all those shit. Anyway we did the grad speech together.

Yes I am nearly 2 or 3 months late...

Should I just give up thinking about the past? I do remember someone said, 'only people who don't have a life nor a glimmer of hope for the future think and talk about the past all the fucking time.'

Wait. I think it was me.

This is one of the life-myths I think I would never figure out the truth about it. And of course, there are many more life-myths. Guess I should just write a book about all the things I don't understand in life, or well, even only in the adult-world. Only those grown-up life myths can form a dictionary-thick book in my little monkey brain.

By the way the synth riff in Rammstein's Amerika rules. (We're all living in Amerika, Coca-cola, sometimes war...)

Talking about synths/keyboards, I am planning to get a Korg X5D, which is on summersale in TomLee... Yes I have thought of buying a Roland AX-7 Midi keyboard before, but when I think of it... that toy from Roland is just too expensive for what it has- it isn't even a synth. And guess what? The Korg costs the same as the AX-7 in TomLee actually... A cheap synth, an expensive Midi controller; an expensive Midi controller, a cheap synth. I might not be extremely clever like some of my co- or 1st years in o'Flekke, but I am not that stupid. If I would ever get something to mess around with, there it is. Korg X5D is probably what I'll get. Hopefully I will really do something with it after getting that wicked cheap synth, or even someone takes me into a band... That would be too good.

Wait. I don't have an amp.

(Yet another post in one single day. You see how bored I am. I don't even have someone to talk to. I just talk to my own blog. Now I know what makes a good writer: creativity and boredom.)

Dienstag

So I just made my entry's dates appear in German. And I found out Dienstag means Tuesday. (thanks Jani for spotting out the typo. I swear it IS a typing mistake. Of course i know what Dienstag is.) You might wonder why the hell would I use german suddenly. No, not because of Salome. Not completely at least - she speaks Swiss German which is some completely different shit. I mean, of course she speaks regular German, but anyway. The bigger reason is actually is that I am going to take German courses next semester as some general requirement shit to fill up my credit hours. Well there's nothing bad in learning a new language I guess, though I know Español (oh dear Latinos from Flekke...) might be more useful. I took German for some valid reasons of course. First, I feel like doing so. (As I felt like how I did my theatre portfolio. By the way, after 2 long weeks, Alistair still hasn't replied my email, requesting to see the component scores of my Theatre Arts IB... and yes, I might want a remark. And yes, I am one little ambitious, or well, greedy, monkey when we talk about theatre.) Yep back to the track, second, second... I can't really think of any reason actually. Maybe I can communicate with Salome and her family in one more language. Well that's more or less just for fun anyway. Oh dear, now there's another reason! Rammstein and Einstürzende Neubauten are German. And actually if I somehow end up in Germany doing all those weird avant-garde (that's not a German term though... doing something un-German in Germany. Weird.) theatre, I need to speak their language anyway. Yep. I have heard theater-lovers in Europe like to do such things more than those in North America or well, Asia, Africa and anywhere else. Antarctica maybe.

*For all you North Americans, by theater I don't mean cinema.

I just love massive random blogging.

Ladies and bastards, soon I will publish some theatre-related stuff written by me here (that is, if I will ever get it done. It's just WAY too hot in Hong Kong. Brains don't really work under too high temperatures.)

"... und wenn dann der Kopf fällt, sag Ich, «Hop-la!»
Und das Schiff mit acht Segeln und mit fünfzig Kanonen, wird entschwinden mit mir..."

Oh my...

I just found out I type longer entries in here than I usually do in xanga, whilst the grammar and sentence structure is also better in here.

W-O-W.

Nah, so now lads, here's a short post.

It's scary

It IS scary when I think of how socially impaired I am. Well of course I can just act like I am able to socialize very well, but I just don't like doing that. And the way I make friends is pretty weird - simply by first sight. If I felt that person will have some kinda clicks with me, I'd undoubtedly try to get to know that person. This behaviour is because of too many 'friends' I have had before in Hong Kong - or I'd rather say, people who hang out with me. Well those are one kind of friends I have to admit. But nothing personal or serious can really be talked with them though, I mean, they don't really care - if they rarely had talked to me in the last two years when I was in Norway - then why would you suddenly care? So in the end there are a few people from Hong Kong left whom I'd still like to go out with. You guys know who you are. I have met you already for a few times or at least I have told you that I will meet up with you. And well for the people in Flekke, I won't doubt the fact that a lot of people know my existance and my general behaviour & character (guess I'm known if not famous because of that. Guess I'm know really known for my theatre talent. Anyway, that's another topic though.). But after all, how many out of them do I really know, or vice versa? I mean, yes it is for sure partly my fault that I spend every single minute, nearly, with my lover (well that worths though - at least the time with her was nice and always will be.). But anyway. I am not blaming anyone, but just trying to say how god damn non-socialable I am.

But why would such a thought suddenly come? Oh, right. It's simply because I am wondering how many people from Flekke would actually notice this blog? Or well, how many people who have been reading my xanga would notice this blog? Leave a little message and let me know.

What a way to whine about the boredom of summer.

Confession

Think I still haven't explained why I gave my xanga up.
It's just some spontaneous ideas. Really.

I just suddenly don't feel like using xanga anymore since the colorful bubbles in the background attracts me more. I mean it. Also I just think it is more user-friendly than xanga. Anyway I have nothing to do so I should just start a new blog. Everything new and fresh, isn't it nice? (And the thing is my xanga username is just too... not nice for my parents to notice since in order to advertise my blog I have to put it in my Messenger nickname and my parents do have an MSN Messenger and surprise, they have me on their list.)

Oh well, let me try to put some color in my life later on so that I will have something to talk about in this blog.

Rez

After nearly a month after the expected arrival time, the documents from SFU still have not arrived yet. Of course I have been asking them when the hell would it arrive, if it ever would. Everytime they just say something like 'well duh, since your mailing address is so god damn far away, of course it takes time. or well, give me your fax number, kid.' And so I did.

Then guess what? At 0200 Hong Kong time, which is somewhat 1000 in Vancouver the fax machine was squeaking like a dying rat and the phone was ringing like... the ring (bad description. anyway.) . Well that scared the shit out of me since it was kinda loud. And of course everyone woke up... then with a few syncopated, weak knocks I saw my mom at my room door with a few yellowish, shiny, fresh fax paper. There it comes. Those damn documents.

What a boring story.

Left handed thoughts...

I was wondering if Microsoft would ever create a skin/theme of windows and other apps for us lefties. For example the minimize-resize-close buttons will be on the top left, the vertical scrollbar will be on the left and the mouse pointer will be sort of pointing to the upper-right direction so that it wouldnt look weird for us lefties (or well, all the little hands become left hands instead.).

I was also thinking about what words I can type with my left hand only, with the standard fingering on a QWERTY keyboard and here's what I can think of at the moment: reverse, sad, get, bread, fart, art, feed, car, cart, dart, rat(s), zebra(s), bra(s) (!), screw(s), was, test(s), vest(s), best(!), FAQ(...), fest(well it isnt really a regular word is it...), bet(s), fat(:-\)...

Anymore?

And I won't do that for the right hand I guess, it's just pointless. I don't mean that right handers suck or what, I just think right handers will not really understand as much as we lefties understand right handers. In a sense I just right handers just take everything for granted, and they invent everything, nearly, in daily-life favouring themselves. Here are some examples if you can't even think of any: scissors, knives, computer stuff (as i have said before), tin can openers, cork screws, ticket gates of subways (in certain countries and cities), watches, clocks (why on earth can't they make more clocks which completes the circle in the other direction (I DO know such things exist, but they are just rare.)? ), screws...

Anyway. Just another sleepless night in Hong Kong, missing the days and people in dear o'Flekke.

So I gave my xanga up...

...and started using blogspot.

more posts coming.