Can someone please...

...put a healing hand on my soul? I don't know why, I just feel restless. I am feeling funny, I am feeling weird. I, I don't know how to face everything anymore. I don't know how to deal with people, I don't know how not to deal with people. I don't know how to deal with myself. I don't know how to feel happy. I am addicted to grief maybe. Or loneliness. I don't know. Maybe I am not. Maybe I hate it but I cannot run away from it so I am just trying to convince myself that I actually like it. I just want the missing care from my parents when I was a kid. Not really missing care, but just the care I wanted and did not get. I thought I would get it from people. I don't know. I want something to comfort me.

Alcohol.


And a lot of it.