It's not like I don't want to...

... this time. We have just decided not to go to Macau tomorrow since it is raining like shit these days. Next week probably. Sometimes I wonder if there's anyone mightyful up there, preventing me to do so many things even if I have finally made up my mind. Or some things is like, I have made up my mind finally but it's already too late. For example big things like fencing to small things like going to Macau. It's quite annoying I guess. I have finally made up my mind not to sit and wait in front of my computer for the whole day and suddenly something so stupid like this making me not able to go. I don't get it. There are always nonsense or stupid things happening, making me giving up things- yes, some of those happenings are merely my own thoughts or ideas, but still. I just don't understand why would that happen. Then again it is not like I will never have the chance to go to Macau, I think we are going next week anyway. Just that it is such a big spoiler for me. I don't know. But then there are no chances to turn back for some things, like fencing. Tja, I guess I don't want to whine about the same old stories all the time.

After all if I went on playing fencing, I wouldn't have gone to Norway and got to know Emmi and Salome and found myself I guess. So, guess it's time for me to get a bit optimistic. I know it's hard and I probably will never succeed but anyway.

By the way I finally got 'the Filth and the Fury', the Sex Pistols documentary. Time to have a look at it.