I don't trust my brain anymore

I started to do things that I don't remember I have done. Or I thought I have done something but actually I did not. It is either the weird weather these days (sunny, snowy, then rainy, slushy, hail-y('s that even a word?)) or I am suffering from slow brain deterioration. I can't be THAT absent minded can I? Or I mean, I do try to live in the present, I do try to remember things I've done- but somehow it just doesn't work too well. Here are three examples which are more significant:

I don't know if I lost a book or returned it to the library, and I was actually planning to return that book to my stage management teacher as she was the one who borrowed the book. Then again I checked the library record and it says the book's in the library, safe and still. Eh, honestly I don't have any memory of returning the book, or even stepping in the library within the last week.

I was pretty sure that when I sent my resumé for that theatre job thing I am applying for (and got a chance to audition by the way), I included a photo of myself as required. But that woman said, apparently, there are no pictures in the envelope. Eh?

Usually I only have vodka in my fridge. But just now when I was gonna get a shot or two before dinner, I was surprised by my sight. I saw a box of those microwave meals. Japanese styled chicken rice. I have NO idea how it ended up there. The best before date was 6th March, but I s'ppose I won't die if I eat it later tonight. It's only 2 days anyway, plus it has been in the fridge all the time. Then again I don't remember myself buying that thing 2 days (or probably 3) ago...

Talk about the ability to surprise yourself, in a preatty creepy way. About creeping myself out, I maybe should try to talk about my acting class yesterday. In some part of improvisation we were told to use our imagination to picture things and interact with a partner. One hand up and eyes closed. I worked with two partners and the improvs were not especially physical or something- but I ended up soaked. Literally soaked. I started to sweat so much on my face, and I believe except sweat, there was some tears also. I don't exactly remember what I tried to imagine- it was something along the lines of trying to get rid of my own shadow, looking in the mirror and not knowing who that is, purple fog and floating in void. I was a bit scared by my own body and mind's reaction. Then I did another improv with another partner, this time watched by the rest of the class- it wasn't really anything haunting until how I/we ended it. We started kind of like my parter was abusing/taming me, then I slowly became dependent and repeatedly calling out 'master'. And somehow after some struggle, breaking away, coming back, and again breaking away and some one fighting and me asking to be hit, my partner ended up lying on the floor not responding, and I knelt (?) next to my partner, with one hand pressing my partner's head, face on the floor. Then I bent down, whispering in the ear while looking up with a psycho, victorious face, 'i am going to leave you forever this time' , then with a glimpse of sadness, I added 'master.' and silently collapse, and that's how it ended. Again I kind of scared myself. Don't know why.

Anyway maybe I should go get something to eat- shine on.