I dislike my mind a lot.

I found out it's very capable of seizing nightmares or unrealistically good dreams (that they are bad 'cause deep down I know it is not going to happen). Maybe my mind's really too good at doing that, it always lets good dreams slip. I actually have the image of the dreams slipping away through my fingers, and the feeling of it too.

Like you try to pick up a lot of porridge or shampoo with one hand, fingers wide apart.

That disgusting feeling of the need to grasp something but fail miserably no metter how hard one tries. The moment I start to realise I'll have to hold onto the dream tight, everything starts to melt, like the chooclate palace in the movie charlie and the chocolate factory. My world is shaking and melting while I'm standing right in the middle of it. It's always like that if it weren't one of those nightmares or 'sweetmares'.

Why do I fall asleep when I am desperate to wake up, and wake up when I'm dying to go on sleeping?

My other pair of eyes, what are you trying to tell me through all these long years?

Hey, you, what do you see?
Something beautiful,
something free?

Hey, you, are you trying to be mean?
If I'm stuck here,
it's hard to be clean.
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Clean.
To stay clean.
Not to grow up,
or to fit in.

Compromise, go with the flow-
that's what I've been told.

Wear suits
Look good
Bow deep
Be humble
Be normal
Be like each other
Be like everyone

Jaded.
Can't help it.
Have I been blind,
have I been wrong?

Come on, don't be childish-
that's what I've been told.

That's what I've been told.
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What a bad piece of writing.