I love stress
Booking tickets to vittu's is a bit complicated. I don't know when I should book a return flight to Vancouver as I don't know where I will be staying in September. I have two huge stage management homework to do. I should go to get a ticket for a show tomorrow after school but I really have to do the first stage management homework which I probably am going to screw up. I have to read for my acting class. I was lost in today's acting class. Just like the others, I think more and more about Flekke and things. I thought I got over it already, but it's just suddenly coming back. I don't know. I have to find a monologue for my audition to major in theatre. I have to find a place to stay after Summer. I have to find a place to store my shit over summer. I have a mythology mid-term which I have shit loads to read in what, two weeks. I have to prepare for a stupid Greek tragedy scene for my mythology lecture as I don't want to make a fool out of myself. Why does life seem to be so relaxed just two days ago and suddenly so much shit comes up? I have planned nicely and stuff for this week so that I won't get too stressed, but as it always happens, things just come out of nowhere and of course, the original plan will not work.
And I should not forget about my laundry as I have no pairs of clean socks left.
I also should not forget that I have a bottle of chilled vodka in my fridge.
I also should not forget that I said I will stay away from it for a month or two.
I also should not forget that I should talk to my acting prof about me starting to feel unsure.
I also should not forget that I should not snap and weaken and being eaten by the machine.
I also should not forget that I need a warm hug. From someone I know, from someone who knows me (at least more than only my name and where I am from).
I also should not forget that I really should do all the stuff I mentioned before.
I also should not forget that I feel like I am changing. I am scared. The uni student growing up not growing up taking up responsibility reality complications problem is creeping up again, so slowly that it is even worse than if it just comes up like, 'BANG!'.
Just one shot of vodka won't kill, I'm sure. Just one, or two, I promise.
--Anonymous @ Tuesday, February 07, 2006
5 Comments:
Noone is gonna die from one or two shots..But someone might actually die when they think about sth a lot..So just treat yourself well;)
Alcohol..Sometimes it s the best escape ever..
Alcohol... I don't seem to be able to tolerate much any more. Shame isn't it.
You dont just need a hug. At least I realized that I don't just need to be hugged, but to be hugged by specific people, who of course are never there...
btw, who needs socks - you can always use the stench from your shoes to poison the bastards!
*hug*
I'm not sure if that helped, but I know what it feels like to really, really need a hug from someone who cares...
The machine won't eat you by the way, just turn you into a machine too. (Which is worse I guess, hmmm...)
Socks are good, but trousers are better, do your laundry when you run out of trousers in stead ;)
Change is good too, change is part of what we are... We grow older, we add new experiences to our repertoir, and we learn new things about ourselves. I am by no means the same as I was when I first arrived here, and neither am I the same as I was when I got back for my 2nd year here... We change, it's part of life.
Alcohol is nice... but it's nicest when enjoyed after having done all your work...
First of all, I'm sending you my virtual {hug}, it's not much but at least it means that someone is thinking about u right now (I hope I stop thinking about u while I'm doing my exam paper in 30 mins)... :)
Second of all, did you just listed all of the things I have to do?! Well, I just need not to forget to sleep today and have a cigaret before my exam. and the rest is pretty much the same.
And you know, I've discovered, that vodka doesn't help anymore... it actually makes everything worse, coz after you drunk, all the thoughts you thought you forgot come back and start bothering you even more (e.g. 'to do' list), so that you feel like shit next day :S
sorry, for not being very possitive, but it's not my week at all..
talk to you later, Marlin ;)
I'm sorry, but who is talking? ;)
Post a Comment
<< Home