name.

i've never given any in depth good thoughts of my name. ka ho derek chan somehow i have fused derek into my middle name although i have no godfathers. ka ho is a combination of two chinese words which will never able be represented corrected in english unless you call me praise the sunny sky while you can also intrepret it as praised just like the sunny sky. i have never asked why but my mother has often said when i was a young child she liked sunny days and maybe the rare word of 'ho' in chinese is a good representation while my father is a well educated chinese teacher he found such a rare word of my age. often kindergarten and primary school teachers will mistake my 'ho' for another word which reprsentes the underworld or pluto. hell why would someone name their child that but my father once had a student who had a name that sounded just like 'semen' in chinese but of course he changed his name after his parents realized what a ridiculous name it was.

one might notice how i write in long, coma-less sentences like Gertrude Stein these days well i am taking a course which extensively has to do with her and it is inevitable that i start to write like her just as i wrote like hamlet of shakespeare during twenty oh-five. so back to the name.

most people know me as derek which is a rather uncultural but usual name of mine. in those days and in these days people in hong kong like to add a english or european name above their name. derek afterall originates from some old german names meaning the ruler of people from most of the sources i have been reading either the mighty internet or baby naming books. surely i am not a ruler among the people i hang out with but i have enough power and status to rule over my world and when things become my world i rule for example if i have a play which i direct or i have written.

it is funny how everyone's name is what that person does not have. i am a considerably gloomy person and thus the 'sunny' thing is what i lack and i am not a ruler of people for sure well if you do not take my own world in consideration of course. i know a lot of people who possess names that is what exactly they lack and trust me i have checked out most of the people's name at least those i consider i am at least a tad familiar with.

names is a funny thing because i have been always thinking of my future daughter(/son)'s name. i always wanted a daughter more than a son for some reason but it does not mean i will not love him if i have a son but back to my future daughter's name. it has to be german or swiss for some reason which is obvious or not and at least derek is originated from old german but well maybe most of you who reads this know better than my mom's ex-boss is a swiss who allegedly still has a house in basel. so what will it be, i do not know. but it will be something beautiful i am sure.

how about the chinese name that is a big problem and an interesting one because my father is a chinese teacher and i would love to have a beautiful name for my child and although i have considerably good handwriting for a lefty i have not overwhelmingly good knowledge in beautiful chinese words but then again i am reluctant to seek for help from my father because one that will be the child of mine and i want him to be proud of my choice and since i was regarded as eccentric more than once and as a budding artist also more than once an extraordinary name will be certain. it is not clear why i have been wondering about these far in the future issues these days though.

names are mysterious. they represent exactly what you lack in your personality. allow me to be honest the name of s. means more or lesspeace and that is most of the time what she is lacking of while vittu's e. according to internet resources can mean hesitate while she is as far as i know for sure a straight forward and honest person and zh. the russian according again to the net it includes a meaning of 'noble' while she is as sweet as the girl next door geoffery from hk means somehow peace also while to my understanding he might look peaceful and quiet outside he has a raging soul inside and alfred from hk too it roughly originated from 'elf' but sure the mind of alfred is never as peaceful as an elf but it is sad that i fail to find a concrete meaning for my slovenian roomie r. and t. the turkish and n. the german and k. the leftybulgar and many other else and i have to insist it is something interesting to know, whether their names is exactly what they lack in their soul. most of the time it stays true even for chinese name of people i sort of know of.

derek the ruler eh actually indeed he is the ruler of nothing at the moment.